The Size of It


Groton Lake, Boulder Beach
Click for Big Picture

There is an old joke that men are bad at math, or perhaps they think women are bad at math and gullible, because those men keep telling women that 4″ is 6″.

For the past four months Amazon has been promising and failing to ship me a 6″ futon mattress. I’m on the fourth cancel and order cycle now per their instructions when each order fails to deliver. It hasn’t all been Amazon’s fault as one of the orders was lost by the shipper.

The latest representative offered me a 4″ substitution since the 6″ mattress is now out of stock. This makes me appreciate how women feel… It just isn’t as big as advertised.

To add insult to injury, at this point with all the credits Amazon gave me they’ve ended up paying me to take the mattress so now I feel a little bit like a hooker. I guess I shouldn’t complain given the fact that I’m getting paid to get laid. Note I am not complaining about the refund, credit, etc – I just find it amusing.

It isn’t 6″ but it is a mattress and I’m sure it could be worse. There are certainly much greater problems. We’ll see if they finally do deliver in the middle of next month, over three weeks further into the future and five months from the original order.

Amazon Prime has slowed down a bit to say the least, they’re not even pretending to do one or two day delivery anymore although we still pay for the privilege of Prime membership. Normally Amazon is much better and a boon to those of us out in the boondocks. I will give them points that they continue to try.

Outdoors: 76°F/56°F Sunny
Tiny Cottage: 62°F/64°F

Daily Spark: What I love about the sort of meme saying “Back in my day we biked without helmets, drank from the hose, ate dirt…” is that it is only written and read by people who survived. Dead people tell no memes. Be sure to wear your seatbelt.

About Walter Jeffries

Tinker, Tailor...
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2 Responses to The Size of It

  1. Ginny C. says:

    You really made me laugh out loud this time!

    We have been sleeping on futons for 40+ years, and have never purchased one from Amazon. In fact, we have been so disgusted with Amazon, that we stopped our Prime subscription 3 years ago. Yes, we also live in the middle of nowhere, but I’ve found Amazon’s products to be sub-standard. I only use Amazon now to read reviews, but go directly to the manufacturer to purchase. Quite often their prices are equal to, and sometimes less than what Amazon is selling at, and they can also offer free shipping. The last futon we purchased was about 20 years ago, and it was shipped directly to us. It wasn’t cheap, but then again, it has lasted us 20 years and is made with real, natural fibers, not the cheap foam crap that Amazon sells. With all the “amusement” but no product Amazon is giving you for a Prime subscription, it might well be worth your while looking at this website: https://futonland.com. Good luck in your futon merry-go-round with Amazon.

  2. Karen C. says:

    Oh my gosh, I can’t stop laughing! I hope you get your mattress and don’t find out later they are out of them and want to give you a 2″ mattress! But if they do, that is okay…it’s almost the same! HA HA!

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