Hope studying a Unicorn Horn
That is a Unicorn horn that I am holding. Contrary to popular images Unicorn horns are not straight although they do come to a very sharp point. They are a little bit twisted which may account for the spiral shown in many illustrations in children’s story books.
But this is no fairy tale. I’m not kidding. This is not a April Fools’ joke. Check the date. This is a real Unicorn horn that I plucked from the center of the forehead of a real Unicorn.
Now the question is: will the USDA going to require mandatory tagging of Unicorns under NAIS? After all, Unicorns are rather like horses, at least in the illustrations, although the real one that I got that from is nothing like a horse, no relation at all. Also, I think, or at least I hope, that people don’t eat Unicorns so they aren’t a food animal. If anything they’re rather exotic.
Okay, so you’re wondering, “Where-o-where did Walter get a Unicorn and why did he dehorn it?!?”
Well, first of all the horn will grow back. Not to worry. And it didn’t hurt the Unicorn, much, when I removed the horn. I harvest the horn periodically because after a while it gets too long and maybe even a little dangerous. We wouldn’t want that thing swinging around an impaling someone. It also gets awkward for the Unicorn after a while – makes him go cross eyed. And yes, the Unicorn is male. Fortunately my young daughter Hope was there to tame the Unicorn and I just popped it right out.
On to the Unicorn: That’s me. I’m the Unicorn. I have a very small horn, a perfectly white hair, growing in the center of my forehead. I’ve always had it – since I was a child. It’s a little kinky and keeps growing back. It’s my Unicorn horn. Now you know something unique about me and the truth about Unicorns. Yes, Hope, Unicorns are real. *grin*
When I was little my mother told me the rhyme:
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead;
When she was good, she was very, very good,
And when she was bad she was horrid.
No, despite the myths, Unicorn horn is not an aphrodisiac, at least not for humans. By the way, it is not necessary to kill Unicorns to get a horn – just ask politely and they may let you have it. This is an important life lesson.
My spiders stumbled on this ironic post from the Faceless Bureaucrat and I just have to share it. It has been posted here previously but it is the context of the re-quoting that makes it fun:
Best Sentence Today
“I have a firm rule – I eat the mean people.”
(From Walt Jeffries at Sugar Mountain Farm, on his culling policy.)
–Posted by Bill Harshaw at 3/25/2009 08:22:00 AMBlogging on bureaucracy, organizations, USDA, agriculture programs…retired from USDA in 1997 after 28 years in ASCS/FSA…
Here I stand quoting someone I see quoting me…
It is like Alice in Wonderland – Bloggers quoting bloggers quoting bloggers.
I’m honored! :)
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